SAJDA

Ghulam mustafa others

SHIKWA`Phir main kis baat pe naraz tha?10 saal ho gaye the. 10 saal jab se abbu gaye the.Us din ke baad se main ne jaaye-namaz nahi bichaya tha. Allah se baat nahi ki thi. Kyun? Kyunki Us ne mujh se mera abbu cheen liya tha. Meri umar 17 saal thi. Main university ke pehle saal mein tha. Ghar ka wahid beta. Abbu ke saath mera rishta dost jaisa tha.Phir ek din accident. Aur wo chale gaye. Main ne janaza parhaya. Logon ne kaha "Sabar karo, Allah ki marzi." Main ne dil mein kaha "Kaisi marzi? Mere abbu ko kyun? Main ne to kabhi Us ka kuch nahi bigaara tha."Us din ke baad main toot gaya. Namaz chhoot gayi. Roza nahi rakha. Allah ka naam sunta to dil mein ek ajeeb si jalan hoti. Main shikway karta. "Tu ne mera ghar ujaad diya. Tu ne meri maa ko bewah kar diya. Tu ne mujhe yateem kar diya."10 saal main ne isi shikway mein guzar diye. Nokri nahi lagi. Jis larki se mohabbat ki, us ne chor diya. Dost door ho gaye. Main akela reh gaya. Aur har raat main Allah ko kos’ta. "Tu hai kahan? Dekhta kyun nahi? Sunta kyun nahi?"Ammi roti rehti thi. Kehti thi "Beta, ek baar sajda kar le. Dil halka ho jaye ga."Main kehta "Ammi, Us ne mera dil hi tor diya. Ab kya halka karun?"Phir ek raat... bahut thak gaya tha main. Zindagi se. Shikway se. Nafrat se. Ammi mere kamray mein aayi. Mere sir pe haath phera. Aur kaha..."Beta... Wo tujhe bula raha hai."Main ne hairat se ammi ko dekha. "Kaun?"Ammi ne khirki se aasman ki taraf ishara kiya. "Wahi... jis se tu 10 saal se naraz hai."---*CHAPTER 2: PUKAAR**Title daal:* `PUKAAR` ya `CHAPTER 2 PUKAAR`*Content paste kar:*Main ab tak nahi roya tha. Abbu ke janazay pe bhi nahi.Lekin ammi ki baat sun ke... meri aankh bhar aayi. "Wo mujhe kyun bulaye ga ammi? Main to Us ka mujrim hun. Main ne 10 saal Us ko gali di hai."Ammi muskurai. Unki aankh mein aansu the. "Maa kabhi bete ko chorhti hai? Wo to Maa se 70 guna zyada mohabbat karta hai. Ja beta. Bas ek baar ja."Main ne bahut himmat ki. Wuzu kiya 10 saal baad. Haath kaap rahe thay. Jaaye-namaz bichai. Purani, ammi ki. Us pe abbu ke sajday ka nishan tha.Main khara hua. "Allahu Akbar" kehta hua meri awaaz bhar gayi. Ruku mein gaya. "Subhana Rabbiyal Azeem." Alfaaz yaad thay, lekin dil khali tha.Phir sajda...Mera maatha zameen pe laga. Aur main phat para.10 saal ka shikwa, 10 saal ka dard, 10 saal ki nafrat... sab aansu ban ke beh nikla.Main cheekhta raha. "Kyun kiya mere saath aisa? Main ne kya bigaara tha Tera? Tu ne mera sab kuch cheen liya! Abbu ko wapas kar de! Meri nokri lagwa de! Meri zindagi theek kar de!"Main bachon ki tarah billak raha tha. Jaaye-namaz bhee g gayi. Aur phir... ekdum se khamoshi.Na koi awaaz. Na koi noor. Na koi farishta. Bas mere dil mein ek narm si awaaz aayi. Meri apni awaaz, lekin meri nahi."Beta... tu ne Mujh se maanga hi kab tha? Tu to sirf shikwa karta raha. Main to kab se intezar mein tha ke tu ek baar sajday mein aaye... aur kuch maang le."---*CHAPTER 3: SAMAJH**Title daal:* `SAMAJH` ya `CHAPTER 3 SAMAJH`*Content paste kar:*Sajday se uthta nahi ja raha tha.Wo awaaz... wo meri nahi thi. Lekin mere dil ke andar thi.Main ne sir uthaya. Aansu poochay. Aur pehli baar 10 saal mein dil se kaha: "Ya Allah..."Meri awaaz kaap rahi thi. "Main... main sharminda hun."Phir main ne maanga. Pehli baar shikwa nahi, dua maangi."Ya Allah, agar Tu sun raha hai... to mujhe maaf kar de. Main ne Tujh se nafrat ki. Main ne Tujh ko bura bhala kaha. Lekin Tu ne mujhe chorra nahi. Tu ne ammi ke zariye mujhe bulaya.""Ya Allah, abbu ko Jannat de. Ammi ko sehat de. Aur... aur mujhe apna bana le. Main thak gaya hun khud se. Main haar gaya hun. Ab Tu sambhal."Main ne sajda lamba kar diya. Itna lamba ke ammi dar gayi. Mere paas aake beth gayi. Mere sir pe haath pher ne lagi.Jab main utha... to main halka tha. 10 saal ka bojh jaise kisi ne utar diya ho.Ammi ne mujhe gale lagaya. "Mera beta wapas aa gaya."Us raat main soya. 10 saal mein pehli baar sukoon ki neend.Subah uthi to kuch badla hua nahi tha. Nokri nahi lagi thi. Paison ki tangi waisi thi. Lekin...Mera dil badal gaya tha. Shikwa khatam ho gaya tha. Uski jagah ek ajeeb sa sukoon tha. Ek yaqeen tha.Ke Wo hai. Wo sunta hai. Aur Wo mujh se naraz nahi.---*CHAPTER 4: SUKOON**Title daal:* `SUKOON` ya `CHAPTER 4 SUKOON`*Content paste kar:*Us din ke baad zindagi badal nahi gayi. Lekin main badal gaya.Nokri 2 mahinay baad lagi. Choti si. Lekin halal ki. Main ne Allah ka shukar kiya. Pehle main kehta "Itni choti nokri?" Ab main ne kaha "Ya Allah, shukar hai Tu ne rizq ka darwaza khola."Ammi kehti hai mere chehre pe noor aa gaya hai. Main zyada muskurata hun. Namaz nahi chorta. Kyunki ab main namaz majboori mein nahi, mohabbat mein parhta hun.Kabhi kabhi abbu ki yaad aati hai. Dard hota hai. Lekin

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